Why I Moved My Thailand Grief Retreat Into a Five-Star Hotel in Koh Samui
For years, I dreamt of owning my own retreat venue.
I had it all worked out in my head. I would find a beautiful property somewhere warm, turn it into the perfect place for people to heal and host all my Mending Hearts Retreats there. I also believed that owning the venue was the only way to make real money from running retreats.
Then I moved to Thailand and started looking into it properly. I wanted to find the perfect permanent home for our luxury grief retreats in Thailand.
For the first eight months, I searched all over Koh Samui. I visited venue after venue and looked at properties that were already hosting luxury retreats but, in reality, could no longer be described as luxury. I even considered taking on a couple of them myself. I also travelled over to Koh Phangan, where retreat venues seem to be everywhere.
I really did try to make the idea work. But the more places I viewed, the more I began to think: do I actually want this?
The short answer was no.
The reality of owning a retreat venue in Thailand
Foreigners generally cannot own land directly in Thailand, and the rules around property can be complicated. For years, people have found ways around it through companies, leases and various loopholes, but that was not the main thing that put me off.
It was the reality of what I would be taking on.
Some of the venues I visited looked lovely online but were very different when I arrived. Some were dated and tired. Others needed millions of baht poured into them before I would have felt comfortable inviting one of my guests through the door.
And that would only have been the beginning.
Then there is the upkeep, the staff, the kitchen, the gardens, the pool, the air conditioning and everything that constantly needs repairing in a tropical climate. When I was not hosting my own grief retreats, I would also need to find other retreat hosts to fill the venue so it was not sitting there costing me money.
I suddenly realised I would not just be running Mending Hearts. I would be running a hotel and a separate venue business as well.
That was not why I moved to Thailand.
A retreat venue can look beautiful and still get it wrong
Over the past year, I have seen enough retreat venues to know that palm trees, a yoga sala and a few beautiful photographs do not automatically make somewhere luxurious.
Some of the biggest names in retreats here in Thailand are struggling to keep their venues at the standard guests now expect. Buildings age, rooms start to look tired and maintaining a large property in this climate is relentless.
There is nothing wrong with a simple or rustic retreat if that is what somebody wants and that is what they are paying for. But it was not right for my guests and it was not right for Mending Hearts.
The people who come to our grief retreats are often arriving after divorce, bereavement, heartbreak or another huge change in their lives. Some are exhausted and feel completely stuck. Some are anxious about travelling alone. Many have spent years looking after everyone else and have finally reached the point where they need someone to look after them.
They should not arrive at a luxury retreat in Thailand and discover that the room looks nothing like the photographs, the bed is uncomfortable or they are expected to share a bathroom. They should not be wondering which meals are included or whether anyone will be around if they need help.
When somebody is doing difficult emotional work, comfort matters. Feeling safe, settled and properly looked after allows them to relax, open up and get far more from the retreat.
Why I Moved My Thailand Grief Retreat to Santiburi Koh Samui
Moving our Thailand retreat to a five-star hotel like Santiburi Koh Samui was a big gamble. It increased my costs considerably and I knew that would affect the price of the retreat. It was a big jump.
But it paid off.
Santiburi already has the beautiful accommodation, experienced staff, kitchens, facilities and level of service that would have taken me years and a frightening amount of money to create myself.
Every guest has their own private space. The food is taken care of properly by trained staff. The grounds are immaculate. If somebody needs something, there is an experienced team available. Nobody is being asked to compromise on comfort just because they have booked a retreat rather than an ordinary five-star holiday.
That means I can concentrate on what I am actually good at: bringing the right group together, creating the programme, working with qualified professionals and making sure every person feels included and cared for.
My job is to make sure my guests are comfortable and happy. If they are, I am. That is one of the key ingredients of a successful retreat.
Certainly, the therapy is important; the yoga is significant; the activities, the laughter, the joy of being together all contribute to a positive experience. Each element plays a vital role in enhancing well-being and fostering a sense of community.
conversations over dinner and the friendships that grow during the week all matter. But the surroundings hold all of that together. If people are uncomfortable, distracted or disappointed by the venue, it affects the whole experience.
For me, luxury is not about gold taps and somebody folding your towel into a swan. It is about taking away unnecessary stress. It is having your own bedroom and bathroom to return to after an emotional group session. It is sleeping properly, eating well and knowing that everything has been thought about before you arrive.
Many of our guests spend their lives doing things for other people. For once, they get to be the person being looked after.
Is a five-star hotel better than a retreat centre?
Not always. It depends on the retreat and what you want from it.
If you want something rustic, communal and fairly basic, a dedicated retreat centre may be perfect. But do not assume that somewhere is luxurious simply because it is in Thailand and surrounded by coconut trees.
Look beyond the photographs. Will you have your own bedroom and private bathroom? Who is running the emotional side of the retreat and are they qualified? Is it designed for what you are actually going through? Are the meals, transfers and activities included? How big is the group? What support is offered afterwards?
And most importantly, is it really a healing retreat or is it a wellness holiday with the word “healing” added to the website? Whats included in the price? Most luxury retreats can charge the earth for a night stay then have you trapped once you're there to upsell you for extras.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a week of yoga, sunshine and massages. Sometimes that is exactly what we need. But if you are going through divorce, grief or a major life change, make sure the retreat offers more than a beautiful background for Instagram.
Think carefully about when and where you go in Thailand
People often talk about “Thailand’s monsoon season” as if the entire country gets the same weather at the same time. It does not.
Koh Samui and Koh Phangan are in the Gulf of Thailand and have a different weather pattern from places on the Andaman coast such as Phuket and Krabi. A month that works beautifully in one part of Thailand may be much wetter in another.
Before booking any retreat, check the weather for the actual island and the actual month. Do not choose purely because the price is lower. There is often a reason certain dates are cheaper, and a bargain does not feel quite so clever when every outdoor activity has been replaced by watching the rain from your bedroom.
Weather can never be guaranteed anywhere, but a good retreat host should have chosen the destination and dates carefully and should also have a proper plan if the weather changes.
Letting go of one dream gave me something better
I used to think owning a retreat venue would be proof that Mending Hearts had really made it. Moving to Thailand made me question whether I wanted the reality or whether I was simply attached to the idea.
I do not need to own the building to create an exceptional retreat. I need to choose the right place, bring in the right people and protect the standard my guests are paying for. Plus I have a lot of returning customers who like book with me to discover new places.
By using a five-star resort, I am not tied to one ageing property or constantly trying to fill rooms when I am not running my own retreats. I can choose a venue because it is right for that particular retreat and concentrate on the experience happening inside it.
More importantly, I can remain a retreat host instead of becoming a property developer, hotel manager and full-time fixer of leaking swimming pools.
The dream was never really about owning the walls. It was about creating a place where people could arrive carrying the weight of what had happened to them and leave feeling lighter, stronger and excited about their lives again.
It took moving to Thailand and looking at venue after venue for me to understand that I could do that better in an exceptional five-star hotel than I could by pouring everything I had into a building just so I could say it belonged to me.
Letting go of that dream was not giving up. It was one of the best business decisions I have made.
Questions to ask before booking a luxury retreat in Thailand
What should I look for when choosing a retreat in Thailand?
Start with why you want to go. Then check the accommodation, privacy, group size, qualifications of the people delivering the programme, what is included and what support you will receive. Read recent reviews and ask direct questions before paying your deposit.
What is the difference between a wellness retreat and a healing retreat?
A wellness retreat will usually focus on relaxation, yoga, fitness, nutrition or spa treatments. A healing retreat should help you work through a particular emotional experience in a safe and structured way. Some retreats combine both, but always look at the actual programme rather than relying on the name.
What is the best time of year to attend a retreat in Thailand?
It depends on where in Thailand you are going. The Gulf islands, including Koh Samui and Koh Phangan, have different seasonal weather from Phuket, Krabi and the Andaman coast. Check the specific destination and month rather than searching for one monsoon season for the whole country.
Is Koh Samui suitable for women travelling alone?
Koh Samui has established hotels, international visitors and good tourist facilities, but the structure of the retreat still matters. Ask whether most guests arrive alone, how people are welcomed and how the host creates the group. Most women arrive at Mending Hearts alone. They do not remain strangers for very long.
Is Mending Hearts Retreat just a luxury hotel holiday?
No. Santiburi provides the five-star setting and service around us, but Mending Hearts provides the reason everyone is there. Our Thailand retreat is for people rebuilding after divorce, grief, heartbreak or another major life change. It combines group therapy with qualified professional support, yoga, private accommodation, shared experiences and aftercare.
The hotel makes people comfortable. The retreat is what helps them move forward.
About Mending Hearts Retreat
I founded Mending Hearts Retreat in 2020 after going through my own divorce and rebuilding my life. Since then, we have hosted more than 14 retreats for people navigating divorce, grief, heartbreak and loss.
Our luxury Thailand retreat takes place at Santiburi Koh Samui. Guests attend alone, have their own private accommodation and take part in a carefully supported programme combining professional therapy, yoga, shared experiences and time to enjoy Thailand.
Join Us in Thailand in May 2027
Our next luxury grief retreat in Thailand takes place at Santiburi Koh Samui from 4th–11th May 2027.
If you would like to ease into the experience, you can join us two days earlier for our optional Bangkok stay from 2nd–4th May, before we travel together to Koh Samui.
And if you really want to make a holiday of it, there is also the option to continue with us to Vietnam after the retreat, visiting Hoi An and Ho Chi Minh City.
You can come for the retreat, add Bangkok at the beginning or join us for the complete Thailand and Vietnam experience.
If you would like to find out more about Mending Hearts Retreat please visit www.mendingheartsretreat.com
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