Going into a divorce when you’re too emotional can be a disaster. Instead, give yourself time to heal, travel, and meet new friends. Join groups to keep you active, whether it be a gym class or a social event or even a divorce retreat . For you to recoup and receive some emotional support and inspiration. As we all know, time is a good healer, and if you don’t plan and get prepared for it, you could end up in a fight, and the only ones that will win will be the lawyers. Try to do it as amicably as possible. I used an online company called Amicable Divorce, which meant we cut out the lawyers who, by the way, love to instigate fights for their own financial gain. So put your grievance to one side and accept that it's happening. Don't get mad; just get smart and focus on your freedom and happiness.
Don't Put Yourself On Hold Staring At The Clock
Don't postpone your life. The divorce process can drag on for years if you have assets. Take some time to have fun, book a holiday, and enjoy yourself. The less money you have in your bank account, the better! Your ex won't be saving their money for a rainy day, that's for sure. Instead they'll be doing exactly what you should be doing, but with someone else enjoying the fun too. We designed our divorce retreat especially for these circumstances.
Consent Order / Financial Settlement
It is also important to note that you should not divorce prior to agreeing on the financial settlement. You do not want to be surprised later. Furthermore, your ex-spouse can come after assets acquired during the marriage after the divorce. Be wise, don't get mad, and instead work towards your freedom, and what’s rightfully yours.
Kids Are Innocent
I cannot stress this enough: The kids are the innocent ones when it comes to divorce. They have equal love and affection for both parents. They did not cause harm to either one of you. Using your kids to get back at your spouse is extremely hurtful and harmful to the kids, and it's your duty to protect them. Make sure they feel loved by both sides, and minimise the stress they endure. It's important that kids have a positive relationship with both parents as they grow. If you really want to get back at your spouse, pick yourself up and go and enjoy your new chapter.
Our next retreat will run from 10-16 March, Marrakech, Morocco. For more information please contact gilly@mendingheartsretreat.com or visit mendingheartsretreat